Using a Shared Space for School and Work

This was the main thing we did in the spring 2020 that helped us as a family find success!


Last spring, the first night we knew we would be home for 2 weeks we had a "family meeting" where we decided how we were going to make this work.  From the conversation we set up norms.  These norms helped us function in the shared space so we all could work and succeed.

Through this week as we prepare for the fall, we all have been thinking about what we need and possible solutions knowing each other.  Today we are having a family meeting where I share explicitly the school expectations.  Through our meeting we will be creating norms again based on what worked and what needs to be adjusted based on the spring as well as the new expectations.  

After creating the norms, I had to be okay for each of us to hold each other accountable.  Yes, that means the children can even give a friendly reminder to the parent.  Because these are norms created together and the parents agree to them just as the children do, we have to be willing to follow them.  If something is not working, come back to the norm and adjust it together.  For example, on our limited wifi in the spring, we noticed only one person could be on a Zoom call at a time, while everyone else was off wifi completely to avoid connectivity issues.  So we had to add that norm.  This year we solved that by upgrading our plan.

It is not just about what works for them or what works for the parents, but it is a matter of taking what works for all of us - determining a norm that works for all of us collectively.  It allows us to problem solve if there is an opposite need (for example if one wants to listen to music to work and the other two want silence to work - the norm is to wear earbuds to listen to music or participate in Zoom meetings).  The skill of coming to consensus, being respectful of others, and meeting our own needs is something I hope they carry with them into any relationship in their future.

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