Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

I often reflect in awe at the awesome responsibility God entrusted me in being the mom of two boys.  I never imagined the decisions I would have to make in their health, upbringing, care, and safety.  I remember laboring over my "birth plan."  I am a planner by nature and so having that plan gave me security.  Everything would go perfectly as planned.  I don't remember at what point in the labor that plan went out the window, but I know what was on paper and what happened were two different things.

Through the course of their childhood, I have had to make a ton of decisions - some big and some small.  But every decision was important because it was for my child to whom I was entrusted with the responsibility of raising.  As my children grew I realized more and more that my children belong to God and therefore the best way I could serve as the vessel of their mother was to pray to God for the wisdom to make the decision best for them.

I'm not perfect and as I engage in writing posts for this blog please realize I'm just a mom sharing her experience.  I'm sure I make decisions that don't go as planned, but I am always making decisions in the best interest of my children.  What works for my boys and me, may not work for others.  Others have described me as strong and creative. I have had so much encouragement over the years to share just how I do it.  I'm hesitant, because I know my motherhood journey is very personal to me and my own children.  But with that, if my sharing can help one other mother, then let's do this!

So why start with decisions?  Well, I am in the same boat as many other parents right now trying to decide what is best for their children this fall.  I did land on a decision this last weekend and I am exhausted just thinking about it, and am glad I have made a decision so I can move forward to make it work.  When I make a decision (one where I can take time to decide), there are several avenues I explore in my decision-making process.  This is not all I do.  This is how I engage with others, God, and connect with my own mind and thinking.

1.  I ask family and close friends. (CONNECT WITH OTHERS) I have a strong network both with my family and friends where I can share what I am trying to decide, pros and cons, and my friends and family will ask me questions.  Some share their opinions, but I really look to the ones who pose questions that make me think and come to the decision.  

2.  I ask my boys. (EMPATHIZE WITH MY HEART) It is very easy to say, I am the parent and I am going to decide without asking the children.  And I do decide.  But along the way, many times I will ask my boys' thoughts on the matter.  This helps me choose the option, often, that is best for them (not me).  

3.  I weigh the pros and cons. (THINK WITH MY MIND)  I actually physically write the pros and cons.  Sometimes I try to see if there is a third option (an option not on the table) through those pros and cons.  The idea is that the pros outweigh the cons.  This is really how I think it through.

4.  I pray (UNITE WITH GOD'S WILL).  As I stated above, I believe my children belong to God and he will not put them on a path without them meaning to be there.  He also doesn't want to see your child hurt.  Sometimes I laugh.  Sometimes I cry.  I share it all with God.  Everything becomes so much clearer in prayer.

I don't really do these in any particular order.  In fact, most of these avenues are happening simultaneously.  As a parent, you have to trust that God made you this particular child's parent for a reason.  And as a parent, you have to trust yourself and your gut.  With that, some decisions may work out better than others.  But you will always make the best decision in the best interest of your child.